THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

     

1.  Of course I look familiar.  I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, fixing your faucet, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2.  Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week.  While I was in there, I unlatched the window to make my return a little easier.  (I put the toilet seat back down)

3.  I Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... And taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway.

5.  And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

6.  If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see whether the alarm is set. That makes it too easy.

7.  A good security company alarms the window over the kitchen sink.  And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom (and your jewelry).  Motion detectors, up there, make it very difficult.

8.  It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-that’s understandable.  But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9.  I always knock first.  If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters.  (Don't take me up on it.)  If you don't answer when I knock, I may try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in!

10.  Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer?  I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.  Your bathroom vanity drawers are another great place to find good stuff.

11.  Here's a helpful hint: I almost never search kids' rooms; unless a laptop or video game is in plain sight.  (Mom and dad have the best stuff)

12.  You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables.  But, if it's not bolted down, I'll sure take it with me.

13. The sound of a TV or radio can be a better deterrent than an alarm system.  Leave it on when you’re gone.

14.  Sometimes, I carry a clipboard.  Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake.  I do my best to never look like a crook.  (I’m not that stupid)

15.  The two things I hate most: noisy dogs (can be a REAL pain in the butt) and nosy neighbors (always looking out the window to see who's there).

16.  I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise.  If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again.  If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing.  It's human nature.

17.  I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?  (And they say us crooks are stupid)

18.  I love looking in your windows.  I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems.  I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

19.  I avoid places with video surveillance cameras in plain view.  That “caught on tape” thing can be embarrassing... and a career stopper when the cops see it.

19.  I love it when your kids announce your vacation on their Facebook page.

20.  To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air.  To me, it's an invitation.